Archive for relationships
Go slowly in a relationship (with your heart). A louse of a man can fool you for a while perfectly. But most of them can’t keep it up. Your expectations need to be very very high. If they make one major screw up, they should be gone. If the screw up is minor, give them one benefit of the doubt, but pull your heart back for a bit. If they screw up again early on, they are not the for you. The biggest problem is that women allow men to screw up too much. If the guy is for you and he really really cares for you, he won’t hurt you in any way. If he ever does by accident, you will see him feel so badly that he can’t stand it…then you know he cares. But basically, hold a man to a very very high standard….and when they don’t reach it, move on right away. Build a list of “deal breakers” for yourself and stick with it. Within 3 to 6 months in any relationship, if you are honest with yourself and true to yourself, that’s enough time to know if there is possibly a problem. If there is, you can’t be afraid to protect yourself and move on.
Oh, also, you know that old saying “love is blind”? Well, love often is….but it does not and should not have to be that way. When it is totally blind, that’s how people get hurt.
This is a post from a guest author:
There are several ways in which happy couples can take this feeling further. Try out some of these ideas when planning your wedding, and see how much of a positive impact they have on your day.
A Great Ring to It
Think about everything that a wedding involves and makes it memorable. The venue, what you both wear, your vows, and perhaps even the bad dancing at the party afterwards will all leave their mark. All of those are great, but the only thing that you carry as a physical reminder of your wedding for the rest of your life is your wedding band.
So many people place little significance on their wedding band, however. When you are going to have something on your finger potentially for the next 60 years, why not put extra effort into making sure that it is something remarkable.
Rather than go for the usual metals of gold and silver, do something a little different, and then customize your wedding band even further. Try these ideas:
- · Go for a newer metal, such as titanium or tungsten. These are known for looking better for longer, never losing their shine and becoming a sorry looking piece of metal adorning your finger.
- · Use the new metals to come up with different colors. Why shouldn’t you try out a black wedding ring, or something with a distinct blue or red strip through it?
- · Engraving is a traditional, timeless way to personalize your wedding bands. Whether you go for something simple such as the date of your wedding and your names, a biblical verse or a quote that means a lot to you, there are many ways you can add a personal twist to your wedding band.
Many people look forward to getting married in a venue filled with their close friends and family. While we’re all for this, especially as you can get the feeling of ‘when I look into your eyes, the world stops turning’ in front of a room full of people.
At the same time, it isn’t the most intimate experience in the world, is it? For a more personal feeling on your wedding day, consider a smaller venue, or perhaps even head off to somewhere completely different and ‘do the deed’ with strangers as your witnesses.
For something that is supposed to be ‘your day,’ it is amazing how much weddings are bossed by what people claim to be traditional. While this can lead to many weddings feeling the same, you should be comfortable to put whatever slant you want on your big day.
Just because ‘tradition’ dictates you have to get married in a church, wear a big white dress, or say certain vows, doesn’t mean that is what you have to do. Tear up the rulebook and have the wedding day you want. You will regret it later if you don’t.
Adam is an online content writer passionate about new and emerging wedding trends, as well as companies such as Men’s Tungsten Online that provides high-quality alternatives to traditional wedding bands.
This is a post from a guest author:
Are you struggling with the scenario where you have set the wedding date and are now worrying from where to finance the expenses in order to have the dream wedding? It would sound superficial if we say that money does not play a role in the wedding planning. However, planning a budget wedding does not mean in any sense, that one needs to sacrifice on the elements in the wedding which one values the most, instead it focusses on harnessing the creativity.
Have a look at the 5 ways to get married on a budget:
1. Wedding dress
The topmost pointer which comes in mind when we initiate the list of the 5 ways to get married on a budget, is the wedding dress. It is the dream of each and every girl to put her best foot forward when it comes to the wedding dress and the look at the wedding. But to keep the finances in proportion, it is vital to look for options for the wedding gown instead of buying one right away. You can opt for your mother’s wedding gown and make a handful of alterations to get the dynamics right. There are also a number of wedding shops which offer wedding dresses for rent, you can get your hands on that also.
Invitations are indeed one of the most significant aspects of a wedding. Those wonderful pages play the role of the messenger and invite the friends and family to come and bless the couple. However, often these simple messengers cost a lot in terms of structuring the budget of the wedding. But, one cannot do by keeping them in abeyance. Hence, there is a creative option, where the to-be-married couple needs to get a few of their pictures clicked and upload on the websites which offers coupon codes for printing the invitations for the wedding free of cost.
3. Food at wedding
The wedding cuisine actually can cause fluctuations in the pocket books. Therefore, for a budgeted wedding it is imperative to plan the menu to be served at the wedding with great caution. Plan the dishes as well as the drinks to be served by analyzing the tastes and preferences of most of the expected guests. It is always better to keep the wedding time in the morning, as the lunchtime reception costs lesser in terms of the cuisines and thus in expenses.
4. Wedding photography
If you are planning to hire a wedding photographer for your wedding, then mind it, you can be charged heavily. The wedding photographer can be termed as the highest expense of the day. To even out things, it is good to take the help of some of your creative friends who are brilliant in taking the pictures. With the presence of the digital camera these days, the pictures can be clicked in the best of the manner. To give your friends an idea about the wedding photographs, make them glance through some of the work of a professional wedding photographer.
5. Keep the guest list limited
It is imperative to become ruthless when deciding the guest list. To keep the wedding within the budget, it is significant to keep the wedding affair within close friends and family. This will reduce the cost of the wedding by nearly sixty percent.
Rebecca is a freelance writer that loves to share tips to help people plan their wedding better. You can have a look at her site here 983invitation.com if you want to learn more on her.
Why not try out online dating this year for a great way to meet new friends and hopefully your soulmate!
Why Try Online Dating?
Online dating is a great, fun new way to meet new friends and potential partners using the internet. Signing up to a website and creating a profile can be fun. Looking through the profiles of potential partners is a great opportunity to think about exactly what you’re looking for and to find people with similar interests and values to your own. And the websites which cater for online dating are growing in size every day with more single people signing up and trying to find their perfect partner.
Many speed-dating events are organized online through dating websites and by signing up for one of these events, you can meet 15-20 single people of the opposite (or same!) sex for a night of fun conversation and a few drinks. This is a great way to meet new people in a relaxed environment, as you only spend 3-4 minutes chatting to each person before moving tables. Specialist websites offer events tailored to Asian singles looking to meet those who share their culture and beliefs and this is a great way to meet those with whom you will have something in common.
Which Website Should I Sign Up To?
Choosing the right dating site can be key to your success, with websites available which cater specifically for the Asian singles market. If you’re looking to meet a single Asian man or woman, this is a great place to start, but there are also websites catering to most faiths, cultures and lifestyles.
Will I Meet People Similar To Me?
The chances of meeting people of a similar faith and background or with similar interests are increased if you choose the right website, so do your research. Websites now specialise in certain areas so if you are looking to meet people in uniformed professions a uniform dating site is a great place to start, whereas for Asian singles, websites which cater to this portion of the population offer an excellent solution.
The world of internet dating is a good place to find people who are similar to you in terms of faith, beliefs, culture or interests and you can meet new friends as well as potential dates. Whether you choose to sign up to a paid membership or free site, there are many choices available online, so do your research to find the perfect dating site for you!
Katerina Tang is a British born Chinese student and relationship blogger who lives in London. Finding it hard to meet people in the city, she attended one of the events run by www.asiansinglesolution.com, where she met her boyfriend, Kalok.
Late Life Divorce
Unfortunately late life divorce or ‘Grey divorce’ as it is being dubbed by researchers is on the increase. Couples split up for a wide range of reasons such as infidelity or falling out of love and this is true of older couples. However there is a different reason for the grey divorces that is unique to their age group, retirement. As divorce no longer has the social stigma that it used to have older couples feel that they can divorce if they want to but also they do not have to spend the rest of their lives with someone they hardly know or even like.
When it is time to retire it is a life transition that can cause a lot of problems for both partners. The major bread winner will no longer have the stress and strains of a heavy workload or the responsibilities associated with a high powered job. They would have had a purpose, goal or reason for getting out of bed and now they do not. The reduction in income can give a person, who has striven to earn a living for many years, strange empty and useless feelings and can fill them with depression. This can be particularly bad when everyone around them is telling them how wonderful there life must be now and it must be the best time in their lives. It is not so great for the person who stayed at home to look after the children. Their role has now changed now the children are grown and left the nest and the carer has a new life. When the breadwinner is around all the time it can cause problems. They get in the way of the homemakers new childless routine. They are around making a mess when the coffee morning is due to take place. The breadwinner interferes with the dinner and often treads muddy boots around the immaculate kitchen causing more work.
Is An Affair Going On?
Either party of the marriage could be having an affair. The breadwinner could easily make the excuse of an evening meeting, weekend work, working away or working late, while the person already at home has all day to meet someone else. When the retirement begins both partners are now in the situation that they do not have the time or the excuses to keep an affair going at the rate that they could before the retirement. The affair could be one of the things keeping the marriage together and therefore cause ill feeling towards the partner for preventing them from seeing their lover. This situation should not be left a marriage counseling service, retirement counseling service or a private detective such as Private Investigators Dudley can offer expert matrimonial help and advice. It is possible that an affair is going on but it is also possible that the change in your circumstances is making you think this
Planning For Retirement
Pensions and planning for retirement are two things that are not thought about as much as they should be when people are young. When life is hectic and busy it can be that retirement is just not thought about. It is not a depressing thing to talk to your spouse about it should be a wonderful plan of what you want to do with the rest of your life together. Sorting out your finances for the future and having a joint plan of things to do when you have more time together stops the feelings of depression and uselessness setting in. It is a good idea to start a new hobby together and perhaps learn to play golf as this will help keep you fit and get you out and about either together or individually. Retirement is not about stopping or even slowing down it is a new part of life that can be as full as when you were working or caring for a busy family.
Charlie Hodgson is a private investigator who has a wealth of information and experience within the private detective industry. Charlie has had a lot of success with matrimonial investigations particularly helping couples who are retired to come to terms with the new part of their lives. For more articles like this contact http://www.privateinvestigators-dudley.co.uk
As far as commitments go, marriage is pretty much out there on its own for how significant a happening it is in a person’s life. When a relationship begins it is usually characterised by little or no pressure and a lot of anticipation and immediate fulfilment. Some people decide to throw themselves into a whirlwind marriage but the long-term results of this decision are very rarely positive. Taking your time to fully get to know your partner is certainly vital but after a long period of time has elapsed in the relationship you may rightfully be wondering where it is all heading. With regard to the conversation topic of marriage here is some advice that you may find useful.
Raising the subject
If marriage is starting to play on your mind on a consistent basis and your partner is yet to bring up the topic in conversation then you could be hesitant about discussing it. You may well ask yourself whether you should be the one to bring it up or if you should wait for them to mention it. Time is of the essence however and if it is something you seriously want to talk about then do not hesitate to put the wheels in motion. Making a gentle reference to marriage when you are with each other is a good way to make a start. Even if it appears that no immediate progress has been made with getting them to talk about it you can be sure that a mention will plant seeds of thought in their mind.
Speak from the heart
When you begin talking to your partner about getting married it is crucial that you remain true to your feelings. Explain to him or her why it is something that is truly important to you and be honest at all times. Make sure you do not try to trick them in any way by pretending you have a different viewpoint from the one you really have.
Be clear of your own feelings
Certain parts of a relationship can leave you with somewhat cluttered thoughts so it is essential that you are absolutely sure of your own feelings with regard to marriage. Is it the occasion itself that you are attracted to or the idea of committing yourself to your partner? If you are someone that needs to have the prospect of marriage and it appears that your partner has a separate opinion then ask them if there is any way they may change this over time.
Kimberley Hayden married her second husband seven years ago and with online dating she recommends Single Solution.
We spend months, in some cases years, planning our wedding day, so when it arrives the last thing we want is to have the day spoiled by a number of awkward moments that everyone is certain to remember ahead of the fact that you actually got married.
Have a Dress Code
If you are having your wedding at a certain venue that only allows a certain style of dress, adding a dress code to invitations is an excellent, non-aggressive way of ensuring that people turn up in something that sees them turned away, even if they are attending your private function.
If you are worried that certain guests might dress in an embarrassing manner then this could work then, too.
In the event that you decide against a dress code, you will still need to check in with most of your guests to see what they are planning to wear. Not so much if you are the groom, but the bride certainly should check in with others, especially if she is wearing something other than traditional white or ivory colors.
Know Who is Coming
But of course you know who is coming, because you know who you sent invitations out to, don’t you?
Forget about that, and any RSVPs you might have subsequently received. Get someone to email or call around to confirm that everyone is attending beforehand. You wouldn’t want to organize a table arrangement and then find that, because people now cannot make it, that you have some half-empty or others where one or two people are sat, literally like spare parts at a wedding!
Limit the Alcohol Early
Having a drink is a traditional way to ‘calm the nerves,’ but it can also be a precursor to making a total fool of ourselves.
Ask this with regards to yourself, your partner, the best man, maid of honor, and anyone else who is involved in the ceremony: Is a nervous forgetting of a word or a blush better or worse than a stumbling drunk making a mockery of the whole thing?
You already know the answer, of course, so try to limit how much is drunk before the ceremony itself, it could save the day.
Keep a Close Eye
While weddings are great occasions, they are also prone to a number of certainties. Relatives dancing or making a show of themselves can be funny, cringe-inducing, or both. There is a fine line between harmless and completely humiliating, however, especially if one of your divorced parents is trying to pick up the best man or head bridesmaid, for example.
Let’s be honest, all weddings are going to have their awkward moments, but they don’t have to be “I want the ground to open up and make me disappear” happenings. Just do what you can, and if people do drop you in it, just smile and enjoy yourself.
Adam is an online content writer with a specific interest in weddings, and companies such as Mens Tungsten Online who stock a range of wedding bands and other jewellery products for men.
Most couples planning their wedding have only one thing in mind; they’re going to play their favorite music. But just because your wedding music sounds good in your head it doesn’t mean that it will be perfect for the wedding guests. Apart from the type of music issues like location, sound quality and intensity and having a good knowledge of the musician are also very relevant. Mistakes like these can be detrimental, and the best way to rule out any possible pitfalls is to check some of these common wedding music mistakes and make efforts to avoid them.
Not Meeting Beforehand
Organizing a wedding ceremony is no easy task especially if you don’t have a wedding planner. Couples spend hours, weeks or even months preparing for their big day. So much that it’s easy for anyone to forget meeting the DJ or band before the wedding day to find out how good they are. This mistake can cost you so ensure you meet your music provider and confirm if he or she is up to the task.
The Space Is Too Small
You know how many people you’re inviting to your wedding. The more people you have on your list, the bigger your dance floor should be. Too often couples make this mistake that leads to overcrowding on the dance floor. This can also discourage your guests from taking part in the fun and excitement at the reception.
Control The Music
You’ve hired the DJ or band to supply the music, great but that doesn’t mean you should leave them to do whatever they like. Most bands have more than 200 songs, while DJs will have thousands of songs in their collection. Leaving them to play whatever kind of song they like might end up being a disaster. To avoid this mistake collect their list and pick the type of songs that you want or you think will be perfect for your guests. After all it is the guests who’ll be doing the dancing.
Loud Music Can Be Uncomfortable
Musicians and DJs are used to loud music because that’s what they do for a living but what about your guests? The moment you notice the music is way too loud inform the musician. Or better still tell them the level of loudness that you think should be appropriate beforehand especially if your reception is indoors.
Poor or low quality equipment has the capacity to ruin the music for your wedding day. The music output quality will be low, people won’t be able to connect with the music and you can’t force people to dance to what doesn’t appeal to them. To avoid this make sure that you check the music equipment thoroughly before the wedding commences. You should also ensure it has a solid electricity supply that will eliminate any possible issues of power outage.
Guests at your wedding come from different backgrounds and generations so why have just one type of music playing? This might get a good response from only a few but will surely leave the rest feeling totally disconnected. Make sure that the songs you’re selecting are of different genres that will carry everyone along.
Too Many Song Requests
Song requests are good but overdoing it can be very detrimental. The best thing is to have a list of special requests of about 25 songs for the DJ to play. This will allow the DJ to play additional requests from the guests and include his own favorites too.
Alison Connor is a wedding planner. She always makes sure to meet with the band or DJ early on to ensure she knows exactly what the wedding music will be like. For more information on choosing music for your wedding visit Music At Your Service.
If you’re planning on dating someone from a different culture to you then you probably think that it’s going to be completely different to any date that you’ve been on before, but it won’t be. If you’re planning a date with someone of another culture then you should do a bit of research into their beliefs and way of life before you go. This article will hopefully give you some more tips on how to make the dating process as simple as possible, even if you are poles apart when it comes to culture.
From the word ‘go’ you need to be honest and open about your religion and beliefs because no matter how much you like each other, the other person might not be ready to date someone who is so different to themselves. When dating starts to get a bit more serious and you begin spending more and more time together it’s really important to be completely open about your beliefs as they’ll probably play a big part in your everyday life. You need to ask about their religious beliefs too and whether they follow them strictly and what that entails.
You shouldn’t be scared about dating someone from a different culture because the fact that you both live such different lives should be enlightening and it will present you with a number of opportunities that a lot of people will never be given the chance to experience. Just because start to adapt to their culture just as they will adapt to yours doesn’t mean that you have to start believing in the same things. There is a lot more to culture than religious beliefs like food, cooking, language, films and music. Things that are normal to you will probably not be normal to them and vice versa, so it’s a great chance for you to try out different foods, ways of cooking and music and see if you enjoy it.
Remember also that your social gatherings will be completely different so invite them out to meet your friends and ask if you can meet there’s too. Introducing them to your friends shouldn’t be a daunting experience and it can be a really good way for them to get to know you.
Finally, it’s essential for you to be open to new experiences and ideas. Learning the ins and outs of a new culture isn’t something that’s going to come to you overnight so you need to give yourself and them time to get to grips with the way you live. If you are open about your beliefs and open minded when it comes to new experiences then you will get on just fine.
Rozie Sharp met her current partner Ahmed through online dating site asiansinglesolution.com
If the biggest objective in life is to make yourself happy with what you do and the company you keep then an unhappy relationship is surely something that you cannot allow to continue. The problem is that this is much easier said than done and in a lot of cases the longer a relationship goes on for the more complicated leaving can become. You could have bought a home together with your partner and you may have children. It is also possible that you may be scared of making a new start at a later stage in life. There are endless reasons why you may feel trapped but the fact remains that if being with someone is causing you to be unhappy then you have to try to find a way out of the situation. Convincing yourself that it is time to call it a day is not easy but here are the signs that the relationship has run its course.
Finding yourself isolated
Some people in relationships can be extremely controlling and can try to cut their partners off from their support group of friends and family. This should set the alarm bells ringing in your mind from the start but if you have allowed yourself to become victim to this then it is still possible to break free from the constraints. Anyone who does not allow you to see your parents, children, siblings, other family members or friends is not worth being with.
No change despite the arguments
There is a saying that nothing ever changes by staying the same and if you have had a series of arguments over a long period of time over certain problems that never seem to get rectified then it could be time to walk away. If you have kept up your side of the bargain by adapting to what your partner wants and they never seem to reciprocate despite your wishes then they do not care for your needs.
Physical abuse in a relationship is not in any way dependable but emotional abuse can be just as bad. If your partner has worn away at your feelings or your confidence over time then you do not have to put up with it. When the love and enjoyment has been lost and it feels as if the relationship is little more to you than convenience or a fear of moving on is holding you back then the end has been reached.
Ben Clarke works with couples in his role as a marriage guidance counsellor and he recommends singlesolution.com for dating.